Being Committed but Not Obsessed

Possibly the biggest hurdle I deal with in trying to commit to focusing on getting my weight back down is my tendency toward unhealthy obsession. I need to track the amount of protein I get each day - my target is 75 - 115 grams per day - and calories, which I am trying to keep right around 1200. I have to track it to be sure I'm actually ingesting what I need to be, but I start going a little nutty with it. I find myself not eating all day, because it's easier to NOT eat then figure out the amount of calories and protein in something all the time. This results in me being extremely hungry at night, and if I've been particularly active I actually get so lightheaded that I feel faint. At that point I eat whatever is handy, and it's usually not the best thing to eat. Recently I walked to work, which is about three and a half miles, and it didn't even occur to me to eat before. About an hour into work I got dizzy, shaky, and my heart was racing. I had to run to the back and get something out of the vending machine. I ended up eating two granola bars, which wasn't TERRIBLE, but the granola bars in the vending machine are high in carbs, calories, and fat, and low in protein, so they would never be part of my diet had I planned otherwise.

I've downloaded My Fitness Pal to my phone to make it easy to keep track of food and exercise, and am hoping I can use it as a motivator rather than a torture device intended to drive me mad. I'm only buying things that are reasonable at the grocery store, so that when I do get crazy cravings or have to eat something quickly I don't have an unhealthy option. I have the luxury of only buying food for myself, and not having to keep tempting foods around for other family members.

The key for me has always been planning. If I plan what I'm going to eat ahead of time, there isn't space for bad in-the-moment decisions. Keeping things like string cheese and berries on hand help immensely. It also helps avoid that stress over figuring out nutrition information on the fly. I need to get my food scale out and actually use it. Though it annoys me to have extra things kept on the kitchen counter, I'm thinking of keeping it on the counter so it is always handy.

I'm so envious of people that can eat what they want, when they want, and don't have to constantly think about calories and protein!